The Question is Not Just What, But Why? In the Sandy Hook Shooting

When I first heard of the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn last Friday, my first thought after the shock and horror registered, was “Why?”

Why on earth would someone shoot a mass of children. Babies. Innocents.

Then I spent the rest of the day tearing up and imagining the excruciating pain the parents would be feeling.

Schools are supposed to be safe. Elementary schools are filled with chatter and love; paint and crayons; magic and wonderment. The worst possible fear I ever had about school was predators. But not guns. Never guns.

Until now.

Monday morning when I dropped Annika off, I acted like everything was normal. I didn’t tell Annika what happened. She doesn’t need anything else to worry about. I wondered if I made the right decision. She could potentially hear something at school from an older child or a sibling of an older child. But I thought it was worth the risk. If she comes home asking questions I’ll be honest and tell her I didn’t want her to worry because it was such an unlikely scenario at her school.

Now that I’ve had a few days to reflect on the shooting, however, my thoughts are starting to move in the direction of the shooter’s family. Adam Lanza, however angry everyone is at him for doing what he did (and with good reason) I can’t help but feel sorry for him and his family.

Whatever he was going through, to feel justified in killing babies, must have been torturous. Human beings hurt others when they’ve been hurt. Clearly Adam Lanza’s anger and hurt was misdirected.

The actions and outward appearance of a human being is a reflection of their inner thoughts and emotions. The outside of us shows us what’s on the inside. And if you can look at what Adam Lanza did last Friday in Sandy Hook Elementary, you can feel his pain inside, the same pain we were all feeling when we first heard of the attacks. The same torturous, raw, breaking pain that the parents and families are feeling right now.

So why? Why would someone do this?

Since Friday afternoon all I’ve been hearing is how we need stricter gun laws.

This Slate article breaks down how much better of we’d be with stricter gun laws by comparing the Sandy Hook attack with an attack in China.

But I wonder exactly what kind of pain those children in China will hang on to and perhaps perpetuate upon others after they’ve been stabbed and terrorized.

If I were forced to choose, it’s no contest, I’d pick my scared, but alive, child any day. But I’m not sure that it’s much better for society to have masses of paranoid, anxious, angry children growing up.

So yes, we need more gun control. But we also need to ask why? Why do we have people/men feeling such urges to kill in en masse.

I think we need to start looking around and seeing what we can do to prevent the pain. Prevention of shootings will only continue to perpetuate the pain.

Ways you can help out Sandy Hook victims:

Body Cleanse, Detoxing Before the Holidays

I’m on day eight of a cleanse. Not a juice fast, just a cleansing diet. It feels so good. It’s hard, not eating all the scrumptious yummy food that I want. But I just keep reminding myself how delicious it will taste when this is over. It’s going to be simply amazing!

Several people have asked me what I’m doing so I figured I’d write it all down. It’s easier and not as taxing as a juice fast, from what I understand of a juice fast. I’ve never done one and I’m pretty sure I don’t have the stamina for it.

But this cleanse will reset your appetite; reduce your sugar cravings; and cleanse your body of toxins. I’ve also lost five pounds so far. I’m hoping that it stays off when I’m done. That will, of course, depend largely on if I stick with my goals, but I’ll get to that later.

It’s quite simple. First you need to get some Bentonite and some flax (oil or power is fine). Bentonite is a clay, so it’s imperative that you drink lots of water. My minimum is 60 ounces per day. The water will not only keep you hydrated, but will assist in flushing out the toxins (read: you should be pooping a lot). I use the Yerba Prima Bentonite.

Bentonite is also good as a nice, clarifying mask on your skin, fyi.

For the flax, you can use oil or powder. I used to use the powder, but this time around I’m using flax oil. The mixture doesn’t taste quite as bad as the powder mixed with the clay. I used the Flora brand flax oil.

Mix one teaspoon of Bentonite and one teaspoon of flax oil or powder in 8 ounces of water. Drink this twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.

Aside from this mixture and drinking a crap ton of water, the rest of it is just watching what you put in your mouth.

Here’s what I’ve been eating:


Boiled egg and some chopped up fresh veggie along with a my detox mixture, 20 ounces of water and some green tea.


Almonds (or other nuts) and blueberries or a tiny bit of other fruit. You only want to eat enough to satisfy a craving. Don’t pound it down.

For lunch:

A salad


Homemade vegetable soup and another glass of Bentonite and flax in water.

Drink water throughout the day. Make sure you drink at least 60 ounces.

You can also have a bit of fish, so I had some tuna over the weekend when I was feeling particularly hungry.

That’s the basics. Small amounts of protein, tons of veggies in whatever form you desire. No processed food. No sugar. No meat or very small bits of meat. Definitely no red meat. No caffeine, except green tea. No booze!

This time around, I also did no grains. But if you aren’t trying to lose weight, you can also have brown rice or probably some quinoa. Just make sure it’s something that’s easily digestible.

For me the hardest part, oddly enough, is the sugar cravings. That was the case even before Annika was born when I wasn’t much of a sweets person. But for some reason, the first three days of the cleanse I have always had intense sugar cravings and headaches.

Today, day eight, I’m craving a glass of wine. But otherwise, feel fine. I am planning to do this until Friday afternoon, which will make it 10 1/2 days.

I was recently told about a couple who did a juice fast for six weeks and now I feel like a huge wimp. But in reality, if you’re just looking to reset your appetite and cravings; and cleanse your body of toxins, this is a great way to do it.

My plans going forward include sticking to a light breakfast and lunch. Very little snacking, and then, only nuts and berries. More vegetables. Lots of water. No sweets unless it’s super duper appealing. Fewer carbs in general.

Also, please note, I am not a health professional. This is just my personal experience. If you have any health concerns you should discuss this with your doctor before trying it. Also, listen to your body. If you get to a point where you are feeling seriously ill, eat something for god’s sake!

Happy Holidays y’all. I’m planning to enjoy the shit out of some sweets and alcohol this weekend!