I went out for drinks with a friend tonight and since the women I was meeting up with were all in their late 30s-40-ish, we, seemingly obviously, began talking about our mothers and motherhood, as the night ended.
One woman talked about how her mother smashed her dreams by insisting that she find something to, “fall back on.”
I nodded tipsily when she uttered those words. See, women from my generation, they were pushed towards careers, with the idea being that they should have a skill to fall back on, in case their dreams failed. The implication was that, they would. Fail. Their dreams, that is. Dreams = failure. Skills, like typing and school teachering, those were skills that would always be necessary. Dreams, career, goals, those were lofty goals that only women made of magic and romance would attain.
Well, moms, of past generations. they don’t teach typing anymore, and teachers are gettin’ the boot these days in case you aren’t paying attentiong.
Yep, having a skill to “fall back on” just don’t work these days.
Then on my way home I was listening to this song.
Somehow, this song, “How” makes me think more about mothering than romance.
“You said you never would leave me alone,” the lyrics wail. The look on the girl’s face, in the video, reminds me of how I felt for most of my 20s and early 30s. Completely lost, totally abandoned. Rejected. Wondering who and what, and how to grasp on to in the world.
I wonder if I am doing that to Annika. I wonder if that’s how she will feel in her early adult life. It scares me to think that she might feel that abandonment.
Sorrow. That is the only word that comes to mind when I think about how young adults are abandoned in our society. Tossed out, after inadequate training. Poor schooling. A society that doesn’t love, but looks at you with suspicion and competition.
We are not that world anymore.
We don’t have to abandon our children.