Mother’s Day is not for single moms.
There, I just had to get that out there. This isn’t going to be a post complaining about being single. But the reality is, single motherhood doesn’t typically include an annual celebration organized by a significant other.
To my surprise, I have found that single motherhood is not nearly as hard or tiring as I thought it would be. That’s not to say that it isn’t hard or tiring. It is. But I think being a single mom is wayyyy better than being in a dysfunctional relationship. I am not good with relationships, so therefore, single motherhood is really the better option for me.
But in the past week, for the first time since Annika was born, the impending holiday has been increasingly annoying to me. Mostly, because it feels like I am not really involved, even though in theory, this is a holiday created just for me.
Unless you’re creative, lucky, or have kids who are older and sensitive to your needs, being a single mother on Mother’s Day is just another reminder that our society doesn’t really celebrate single moms. While partnered moms are (in theory) getting things like breakfast in bed, brunch, flowers, and naps (alone!), Mother’s Day is pretty much just like any other Sunday for most single moms. We are either with our kids. Or we are without our kids. And on a day like Mother’s Day, most moms, the single ones included, probably don’t want to be without their kids the entire day. So, us single moms have to decide if we want to be pampered, or have a typical day with our children. We don’t get both.
So this morning, as I woke up, I decided to make this day as relaxing as possible for myself and enjoyable for Annika. Just like most of the other day-to-day activities, Mother’s Day is a day I will have to just do for myself.
I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. We played with some new games I had picked up the day before. I popped Annika in the stroller and took an extra long walk so I could sweat. I hadn’t been planning on a special outing. But as I neared my apartment after my walk, legs shaking and sweat pouring down my face, I decided, what the hell? I can take myself and my daughter out to eat.
Before we went, I decided to make this Mother’s Day about teaching Annika one of the things I hope to teach her: The Importance of Enjoying a Fancy Drink. Something I never learned until I was an adult. Before going out for an enjoyable evening/meal, enjoying a fancy drink at home is a must. It makes everything better.
|Fancy drinks. I only have one silly straw.|
I also broke out some jewelry and we both put some on.
|We both wanted to wear that one.|
I have never been much of a fancy girl, but I always liked to wear earrings and necklaces. Like many new moms, I gave those up when Annika was an infant, then it just seemed like I had gotten out of the habit.
So, Mother’s Day for me didn’t include extra sleep, pampering from someone else, or a surprise meal, but it was still nice all in all. I hope you all had a nice one too. 🙂