My first submission of love

For February, I’m requesting submissions from mamas on what they do to show their love to their children on a daily basis. So far I’ve received several submissions, and I’m hoping to get more. If you’d like to submit something, please read this post for more detail.

My first post actually came in the form of a comment on the original post requesting submissions. But just in case not everyone reads the comments, I wanted to re-post it.

This is from my long-time friend, Tareeshia. We’ve known each other since long before we became mothers. She is one of the most laid back people I’ve ever met, just to put this in the proper context for y’all. I think I’ve seen her angry like once. And we worked together at a bank where irate people yelled at us on a pretty much daily basis.

Tareeshia is a homeschooling, natural parenting, mama of 3 under 3. They live in Michigan.

Showing love by holding yourself accountable

I don’t have an abundance of time right now so I will just jump right in here and say that one way I love my kids is to make sure I am accountable for my actions. When the pizza sauce falls and splatters all over the kitchen, the baby is crying and the toddler hits his head for the 37th time that day (all at once) I have a tendency to yell something unintelligible at my 3-year-old who is asking me “Why can’t I can’t?” for the umpteenth time. I am not perfect. Having three kids under 3 isn’t a cakewalk. But when I settle down, I make sure my kids know that it was wrong of me to lose it. That mommy doesn’t need to yell to get her point across. That mommy is sorry and she will try not to yell anymore. I always yell again, later, at some other breaking point. But I apologize again. I want my kids to know that love isn’t perfect. It is the conscious acts we make every day. ‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ Right now I am working on patience. The rest may come some day.

Tareeshia

What I love most about this post is that she says, “It is the conscious acts we make every day.” That’s what I’m thinking about this month. The conscious acts I make every day to show my daughter that I love her. They don’t always have to be major things.

It goes along with the idea to accomplish major goals, we must accomplish tiny goals on a daily basis. Love is a big thing. But I think it is more important that it is a big thing based on small acts. Not something small that arises from big inflated shows of affection. But something that builds up, daily, until we feel the long-lasting effects even when the person is gone.

2 comments

  1. Jaimee says:

    This is a great idea, Martha! I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because I have been yelling a lot lately. After about 2 months of illness and patching together an average of 4 to 5 hours of sleep per night, the act of NOT yelling seems like big love to me! But what I’ve been focusing on recently is showing love through touch. The baby obviously gets lots of touching, but I realized that my 4 year old was often left out. So I’m making a point to give more hugs throughout the day, more time on my lap, and more quick touches on the shoulder or head as I pass by her. It’s so important to continue to initiate loving touch as children get older. I want her to *feel* my love even if I can’t always keep my cool.

    • Martha says:

      I hear ya Jaimee! I only have one and the act of *not* yelling is hard for me too. I love the idea of making a point to give her loving touches. I totally agree that it is still important to make sure your older kiddo gets lots of nurturing touch. Thanks for the idea! Maybe I will re-post this comment as a post later in the month. What do you think?