1. Summer says:

    October 14, 2010 at 6:40 am

    We were in the EXACT some place almost a year ago and it's so hard. I don't really remember any tricks that I learned, besides the one Dash keeps teaching me over and over again, which is to ride it out with him, listening to him as much as I can, and just working through it with him. What I mean, is that he always comes through, and that I don't know that I anything I "do" helps that much. Looking back on any rough patches like this that we've had, what I see is, is that I needed to be patient, and be present for him. I tried to be clear and simple in my requests, while always acknowledging or mirroring his own feelings. I tried to eliminate or change the things that were so hard. I think you also have to (at least a little bit) resolve yourself to the fact that it may take an hour to get out of the house (but it won't always be this way).

    For us, sometimes it was Dash having too many choices (because he'd want it both ways at the same time), getting him into the carseat (which was IMPOSSIBLE for me to do by myself. We hung out in the parking lot of the tire repair place for 2 hours once because he wouldn't get in and I couldn't get him in), and definitely getting out of the house, or leaving anywhere or going anywhere.

    So, I guess all I can really say is that it will pass. Not much help, I know, but it's something.

    It will pass, it will pass, it will pass. This is just right now. I've often wanted to make myself a huge inspirational poster that says, "This is just right now." to hang on my wall to remind me of how fleeting everything is, the good and the bad, in this trip through motherhood.

  2. says:

    October 14, 2010 at 8:46 am

    Three was God awful. I had always heard about "terrible twos" but never three. Then, once Boogie it 3. Holy bat shit! My sweet little boy quickly learned what timeout was. And when he would get pissed he would scream like a woman being murdered. I kept waiting for the neighbors to call the cops. He was better than most 3 year olds. I have heard horror stories from other parents, but age 3 was still tough. I hate saying "no" as well. So, we tried the fun games, positive incentives, going to the library, movie time, etc. But sometimes a straight up "no" and a short answer as to why was the only option. He would be pissed but get over it quickly.

    It is tough for parent and child because I think the child is stating their independence and being a mum, we want to be protective and ensure their safety. This to shall pass. Your sweet little girl will be talking more and doing more. Boundaries are always tested, that's how they learn.

    Wish me luck when Little Bear hits 3. Holy shit will I be in trouble. He is my bossy, strong-willed, 'my way or the highway' kind of kid. It is going to be a battle. I have a year to go. Oy!

  3. Elizabeth says:

    October 15, 2010 at 8:05 am

    I feel your pain. No time to comment further – we are heading to Disney – but I had to reach out. OMG – do I feel your pain.

  4. Martha says:

    October 16, 2010 at 8:46 am

    Wow Summer, thanks so much for the encouraging words. It does help to be reminded just to stay with her throughout the storms. It seemed easier before she was verbal because I could just make up any old reason why she was frustrated. But now, when she's screaming at me that she doesn't want me to move the furniture, or put something in the closet (both happened in the past two days) it's easier to just get pissed. Like, why are you being so irrational? Then I remind myself that she's only 2. And 2-year-olds are irrational.

  5. Martha says:

    October 16, 2010 at 8:47 am

    Ha Krys! Yes, Annika screams like someone's being murdered too. I have closed the windows several times recently because I was afraid the neighbors would think I was abusing her.

  6. Amanda says:

    October 17, 2010 at 3:38 am

    My daughter just turned 3yo last month and she still has her moments like this. I have no idea what works. I think AP was much easier when my daughter was younger, it's so confusing. The playful approach doesn't work here anymore either. Reasoning is what I think makes the most since for my daughter, since I think she understands more than she lets on. I don't think we had a terrible 2 phase but she has an "ignore phase" that's going on right now.

    • Martha says:

      October 17, 2010 at 3:50 am

      I hear ya, Amanda. Annika is in the ignore phase too. I thought I had done something wrong until I heard all the other moms I know saying the same thing. Reasoning definitely helps. So does lots of warning about the ending of things. And yes, AP was definitely much easier in the infant years!

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