My sexy muffin top

Yep, she isn’t happy about it either.

I have never been overly concerned with my body –until now. Having a baby has definitely changed me, and not all of it is pretty. In fact, one particular part of it is extremely gross.

I consider myself to be lucky that I’ve never had a weight problem and with relatively little effort I can used to be able to maintain my average-but-good-enough-body.

Like most American women, I have certain parts of my body that I hate. My stomach, has always been what I’ve considered my “problem” area. But let me tell you ladies, (and men, if you’re still reading, by the way, does this blog make my ass look fat?) I have a fupa!

A fupa, you know, the fat upper pussy area.

You know what I mean. The bulgy little area right above your lady bits where that pooch juts out when you sit down, and the part that folds over your panties or two-piece swimsuit after you’ve had a baby.

And let me tell you, it is hot.

Yeah.

And it’s not just that. It extends upward and meets up with the muffin top that’s been slowing expanding over the past few months.

Before I had Annika I always heard how your body changes after a baby. I was expecting this big dramatic shift in my body parts. When that didn’t happen, I considered myself lucky. I breastfed, so the first 30 pounds (out of 40) of baby weight pretty much dropped right off within a few weeks (yeah, it was crazy) even though I was eating everything in sight. I still had bit of a muffin top, but I figured that would eventually go away.

Well, it didn’t.

It got bigger and flabbier.

I don’t have any serious body image issues, and because I’m sorta lazy, I go through phases where I don’t exercise a lot.

Pre-baby, this was no big deal. I might gain a few pounds, but it dropped right back off after taking back up with my old exercise regime of walking a few miles and doing a few sit ups.

Well, over the winter, I got lazy for the first time since Annika was born. And now, I have a fucking fupa. And it doesn’t stop at the pooch area, it extends into nice fat rolls around my midsection.

Yeah, fupa plus muffin top, equals GROSS!

Lovely.

It’s been there for awhile. But I’ve been in denial. I kept telling myself that with a little bit of walking and some sit ups, it would melt right off. But I’ve been doing that for a couple of months now and it’s still there.

For the first time in my life I’m going to have to step up my exercise game.

It’s either that or resign myself to keeping this fupa and buy a whole bunch of new pants. But that’s not really an option. For one, it’s ugly. For two, it’s uncomfortable. And three, I ain’t made of money.

I know some women complain about big butts. Not to belittle anyone whose problem area is a big butt, but personally, I would prefer a big butt. It’s more socially acceptable and easier to complain about. And as far as I know, it doesn’t fold over anything, it just sticks out further.

And at least some men find big butts attractive. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who said, “Hey baby, nice fupa! Oooh, that is one sexy muffin top!”

11 Comments

  1. says:

    August 11, 2010 at 6:30 am

    I too have the not so sexy fupa. My stomach is flat, but there is the nice fupa thanks to the birth of both of our sons and having necessary c-sections due to saving the boys lives, one was seriously breech. The other was giving me skyrocketing BP and contractions 20 weeks until birth. So, now I have the fupa. It is not attractive. And though my husband says I am crazy and has no idea what I am talking about and says he can't see it. I know it is there. I'll take my big ass, I've come to terms with my ghetto booty and now love it. The fupa, not so much. Oh the joys of motherhood. And there is not a damn thing I can do about it, well except maybe have a drink. Hmm, where is that leftover bottle of wine? 😉

  2. Elizabeth says:

    August 11, 2010 at 7:31 am

    I feel your pain. After baby number three, things changed. I am still a relatively thin woman, but I now have muffin tops and a little bulge that hangs over my bra strap in the back. Neither of those look at all cute in a bathing suit. Even worse, I dont think it will go away with exercise. I'm pretty sure its a combo of fat and loose skin. YUMMY.

  3. says:

    August 11, 2010 at 9:14 am

    Oh and don't get me started on my boobs. I went from a perky large C to a small B or as I like to say a B-. Once again, the joys of motherhood. 😛

  4. Martha says:

    August 11, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Krys, I did not have a c-section, so I think I could get mine down some with some work. It sucks when you know for sure that nothing you do will change it. I'm glad to hear that you are okay with your booty. LOL My boobs are pretty much the same size, but they've gone up and down a bunch. I am wondering what the hell will happen when Annika finally weans.

    Elizabeth, I know what you mean. I do think that some of this is just loose skin and fat, but it looks worse now than it did about six months ago, so I know I can at least pare it down some. But yeah, I don't think the muscles in my lower belly will ever be the same. Damn you age and gravity!! (Oh, and yeah, I have the back fat too. Icky.)

  5. Lorien says:

    August 11, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    You have that too?! Here I was blaming it on my 2 c-sections. Sigh. Thanks Martha, now I need another drink! 😛

    • Martha says:

      August 11, 2010 at 4:27 pm

      You can blame the c-sections Lorien. But me, I only have my lazy ass to blame. Now I need a drink too.

  6. Karen Adamo says:

    August 11, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    I'm so glad I was tubby long before having kids. I had stretch marks at age 16. When I was first pregnant with Ruby, a nurse split her gut laughing when I told her I was glad I would finally have something to blame my stretch marks on. But really, starting out with a fupa and strech marks and tub means there is no loss with having kids! I was in the best shape ever last summer, after two kids. Of course, now, the tub has sprung right back into action, but it just doesn't bug me. I know I can get myself looking trimmer than my high school self in a couple years, whenever I stop eating a whole box of cookies a day. But man, a whole box of cookies a day is goooood.

  7. Martha says:

    August 11, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Hmmm, Karen, now you've got me rethinking this whole exercise bs. Maybe I should just go on a diet. How does that work exactly?

  8. says:

    August 16, 2010 at 10:41 am

    I love this, Martha! On the day I finally crawl out from under my rock, this is your topic! =) Is there anything you're NOT willing to talk about?! LOL

    So now I can feel better about my own fupa . . . I mean, not 'better,' but better that I'm not alone. I know someone whose dad is a plastic surgeon, and guess what she's getting done next year after having twins last year? She swears it's the only way. As for me, I'm hoping to come to terms with it. I'm also hoping that someday I'll come to fully embrace exercise and maybe help things out down there! Who knew this even existed? Nobody told me! 😉

Comments are closed.