My sexy muffin top

Yep, she isn’t happy about it either.

I have never been overly concerned with my body –until now. Having a baby has definitely changed me, and not all of it is pretty. In fact, one particular part of it is extremely gross.

I consider myself to be lucky that I’ve never had a weight problem and with relatively little effort I can used to be able to maintain my average-but-good-enough-body.

Like most American women, I have certain parts of my body that I hate. My stomach, has always been what I’ve considered my “problem” area. But let me tell you ladies, (and men, if you’re still reading, by the way, does this blog make my ass look fat?) I have a fupa!

A fupa, you know, the fat upper pussy area.

You know what I mean. The bulgy little area right above your lady bits where that pooch juts out when you sit down, and the part that folds over your panties or two-piece swimsuit after you’ve had a baby.

And let me tell you, it is hot.


And it’s not just that. It extends upward and meets up with the muffin top that’s been slowing expanding over the past few months.

Before I had Annika I always heard how your body changes after a baby. I was expecting this big dramatic shift in my body parts. When that didn’t happen, I considered myself lucky. I breastfed, so the first 30 pounds (out of 40) of baby weight pretty much dropped right off within a few weeks (yeah, it was crazy) even though I was eating everything in sight. I still had bit of a muffin top, but I figured that would eventually go away.

Well, it didn’t.

It got bigger and flabbier.

I don’t have any serious body image issues, and because I’m sorta lazy, I go through phases where I don’t exercise a lot.

Pre-baby, this was no big deal. I might gain a few pounds, but it dropped right back off after taking back up with my old exercise regime of walking a few miles and doing a few sit ups.

Well, over the winter, I got lazy for the first time since Annika was born. And now, I have a fucking fupa. And it doesn’t stop at the pooch area, it extends into nice fat rolls around my midsection.

Yeah, fupa plus muffin top, equals GROSS!


It’s been there for awhile. But I’ve been in denial. I kept telling myself that with a little bit of walking and some sit ups, it would melt right off. But I’ve been doing that for a couple of months now and it’s still there.

For the first time in my life I’m going to have to step up my exercise game.

It’s either that or resign myself to keeping this fupa and buy a whole bunch of new pants. But that’s not really an option. For one, it’s ugly. For two, it’s uncomfortable. And three, I ain’t made of money.

I know some women complain about big butts. Not to belittle anyone whose problem area is a big butt, but personally, I would prefer a big butt. It’s more socially acceptable and easier to complain about. And as far as I know, it doesn’t fold over anything, it just sticks out further.

And at least some men find big butts attractive. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who said, “Hey baby, nice fupa! Oooh, that is one sexy muffin top!”